[Grahame Hutchison]

The Best Of ACARS 2009 ...

After reading through thousands of ACARS messages throughout the year, I thought I would wrap up the year by selecting some of the messages that put a smile on my face. They seemed to fall into a number of categories, so what better way to present them than an awards list.

The "Big Heads" Award

Yeah Sure

ACARS mode: 2 Aircraft reg: .ZK-OJE
Message label: 14 Block id: 3 Msg. no: M79A
Flight id: NZ0107
Message content:-
--AIR02NZAAYSSY081000000000NNN
L1
L2
----------
MERRY CHRISTMAS. NO SPECIALS TODAY APART FROM THE CREW.
-------------------------------------[25/12/2009 18:27]


The "Technical Talk" Awards


Pilot Technical Talk

ACARS mode: 2 Aircraft reg: .VH-VQC
Message label: 1L Block id: 2 Msg. no: M71A
Flight id: JQ0075
Message content:-
JQ75/ DC0318/ TC0325/NTCD/ 25 MIN 633/ APU KNACKERED. ETA DRW 0750. MERRYCHRISTMAS.
-------------------------------------[25/12/2009 14:57]

"Cactus" Technical Term For Stuffed


ACARS mode: S Aircraft reg: .VH-ZXC
Message label: 86 Block id: 1 Msg. no: M43A
Flight id: QF0415
Message content:-
ARI
ETAB 2240YMML
WHLCHR / MED
ASST MINORS PAX
SICK N
SI GDAY ALL. APU CACTUS SO WILL NEED AIR CART ON ARRIVAL PLEASE...
-------------------------------------[19/10/2009 08:47]

I Always Like The Technical Talk

ACARS mode: 2 Aircraft reg: .VH-OGP
Message label: 86 Block id: Msg. no: 5817
Flight id: QF0463
Message content:-
/MEL.
ARI
MEL ETAB 09:50
WH/CH 00 UN/MNR 00
APU KAPUT. REQ GND PWR AND AIR... STILL...
THANKS.
-------------------------------------[22/05/2009 18:58]

Sounds Messy For Engineering

ACARS mode: 2 Aircraft reg: .VH-OGT
Message label: 86 Block id: Msg. no: 5317
Flight id: QF0046
Message content:-
/SYD.
ARI
SYD ETAB 04:22
WH/CH 01 UN/MNR 00
RECD YRS. PLS ADV ENG LOTS OF SANICOM WIPES REQD CAPT/F/O SIDES.
-------------------------------------[21/10/2009 14:53]

So Much For Triple Redundancy

ACARS mode: 2 Aircraft reg: .VH-OGI
Message label: 86 Block id: Msg. no: 4526
Flight id: QF0530
Message content:-
/BNE.
ARI
BNE ETAB 04:30
WH/CH 01 UN/MNR 00
TELL ENG
LH AP U/S MEL.
RH AP NOW U/S .
CNTR AP AMBR CAUTIONS.
-------------------------------------[19/02/2009 14:45]

Engineering Or A Tailor ?

ACARS mode: S Aircraft reg: .9V-SPN
Message label: H1 Block id: 1 Msg. no: 202A
Flight id: SQ0219
Message content:-
#T2B/SYDKDSQ SYDKKSQ.RQST FOR ENG ON ARRIVAL
WE NEED AN ENGINEER ON ARRIVAL TO ASSIST PCL PAX AT 3A XPENSIVE PULLOVER GOT STUCK AT THE CHAIR TABLE'S HINGE
-------------------------------------[19/12/2009 20:45]

An Accurate Fuel Request "22.0ISH IN TANKS"

ACARS mode: B Aircraft reg: .VH-ZXA
Message label: 86 Block id: 4 Msg. no: M33A
Flight id: QF0505
Message content:-
ARI
ETAB 2120YSSY
WHLCHR / MED
ASST MINORS PAX
SICK N
SI GDAY...NEWS DVD PLEASE.
IS OGK STILL DOING 421
WITH 22.0ISH IN TANKS.
IF NOT ONLY NEED 12.0...
-------------------------------------[11/03/2009 07:45]

The "Occa / Strine" Awards

Captain "Crocodile" Dundee

ACARS mode: 2 Aircraft reg: .VH-OGI
Message label: 86 Block id: Msg. no: 4156
Flight id: QF0423
Message content:-
/MEL.
ARI
MEL ETAB 00:30
WH/CH 00 UN/MNR 00
GDAY MOB OWZIT GARN
WHERES QF769 MELPER GUNNA BE PLS
-------------------------------------[28/11/2009 10:41]

Gees Mate, Wheres The Blooming Aircraft ?

ACARS mode: 2 Aircraft reg: .VH-OGL
Message label: 86 Block id: Msg. no: 3015
Flight id: QF0401
Message content:-
/MEL.
ARI
MEL ETAB 21:30
WH/CH 00 UN/MNR 00
GDAY MOB. WHERES QF414 GUNNA BE PLSE.
-------------------------------------[06/05/2009 06:30]

It Must Be Yobbo Day

ACARS mode: 2 Aircraft reg: .VH-VXC
Message label: 86 Block id: 3 Msg. no: M07A
Flight id: QF0533
Message content:-
ARI
ETAB 0435YSSY
WHLCHR 00 /00MED
ASST 00MINORS 00PAX
SICK N
SI GDAY. NO REQ. GOOD JET. SEE YOUSE BLOKES AND BLOKETTES SOON...
-------------------------------------[09/02/2009 15:07]

Bay Number Please ("where do you want it")

ACARS mode: S Aircraft reg: .VH-ZXC
Message label: 86 Block id: 9 Msg. no: M55A
Flight id: QF0536
Message content:-
ARI
ETAB 0640YMML
WHLCHR 00 / MED
ASST MINORS PAX
SICK N
SI WAREDAYAWANIT.....
-------------------------------------[02/01/2009 16:52]

The "Buy A Jumpseat" Awards

Jump Seat - 15,000 FF Points Or A Bottle Of Shiraz

ACARS mode: [ Aircraft reg: .VH-VYI
Message label: 86 Block id: 6 Msg. no: M22A
Flight id: QF0616
Message content:-
ARI
ETAB 0311YBBN
WHLCHR 01 / MED
ASST MINORS PAX
SICK N
SI HI A/C SERV. 1 W/CH TA. JUMP OK. COST 1 BOTTLE OF SHIRAZ
-------------------------------------[20/12/2009 12:59]

I Would Bring 2 Bollinger Along For The Jump Seat !

ACARS mode: 2 Aircraft reg: .VH-VYE
Message label: 86 Block id: 4 Msg. no: M11A
Flight id: QF0407
Message content:-
ARI
ETAB 2148YMML
WHLCHR / MED
ASST MINORS PAX
SICK N
SI JUMPSEAT OK. 2 BOTTLES OF BOLLINGER APPRECIATED
-------------------------------------[30/10/2009 07:56]